Humans are creatures of habit. Most of us like things to be orderly, familiar and to “make sense.” We get used to our routines, they can provide comfort and give a sense of control. What happens when a crisis occurs, and life doesn’t make sense, and everyone around us, including the media, begins speculating on grim outcomes? What if there are no immediate answers and we are faced with many unknowns, trying to cope with a new normal, even if for only a short period of time?
 
One of the most effective ways for overcoming overwhelm and frightening feelings of insecurity and loss of control is to settle into the space of unknowing with a gentle acceptance. Get to know it, honor it, accept it.  Settle in to a mindfulness practice that keeps you grounded in the present moment, not worrying about what might happen in the future, because none of us truly knows the future. When we awaken to a greater force, one that forgoes our external experiences and relies on the resiliency and strength of who we truly are at our core, we can find compassion, faith, love and hopefulness.
 
Where to begin?

1. Stop scaring yourself with your own thoughts. Limit your exposure to television and social media. The drama and fear being circulated through these channels keeps our cortisol levels high. High levels of cortisol for a prolonged period of time creates a flight or fight response in the body, creating stomach upset, headaches, body aches, and sleeplessness. Neuroscientists have found that when we stay in this heightened state of fear, our bodies and our brains become addicted to the stress hormones. When this happens, we begin to crave more and will seek out ways to satisfy this craving. Become more aware of your body and your emotions and monitor the time spent on these platforms. A little goes a long way.
2. Get outside. Take a walk. Play in the backyard. Try a walking meditation.  Start by focusing your gaze, lowered to the ground, a few feet in front of you. Begin slowly and rhythmically walking in a circle or some pattern of your choice, focusing on your breath. The key here is to walk very slowly, which will automatically slow down your thoughts and help you become more present and calm. Try this for 10 or more minutes at a time. If you live someplace warm, go barefoot and become grounded with the earth. Nature has a beautiful way of healing us and reminding us we are connected to mother earth.
3. Sit quietly and become more present in the moment. Practice a mantra or affirmation as you remind yourself you are safe and well in this very moment. Notice the stillness, your breath, the warmth of the blanket you have draped over your legs. Focus your attention on the cup of tea or coffee you are drinking; the flavor, the warmth, the cup and how it feels in your hand. Look out the window and take the time to examine the leaves, the flowers budding, the birds, all the miracles of spring coming to life. Get lost in those visuals and notice how you become more at ease, maybe even hopeful.
4. Begin a simple meditation practice. Sit in a quiet space. Find a comfortable seated position. Close your eyes and bring your awareness to your breath. Begin counting, slowly, each inhale and exhale. When you reach ten, begin counting backwards. Repeat for 5 minutes or more. This is a simple way to keep your mind from wandering and focus on one simple act; your breath.
5. Write down your thoughts. Journaling promotes self-knowledge, decreases stress and can facilitate emotional healing as you improve self-awareness. It also provides a creative outlet that many of us may not have otherwise. You can begin by asking yourself “how am I feeling in this present moment?” Let the words flow, no need to worry about perfect grammar or sentence structure, just get your thoughts down on the paper. You may find you have feelings of sadness, anxiety, fear, loss of control and a variety of other emotions that are welled up inside. All of these feelings and thoughts are normal, especially as we have a collective worry on such a global scale. Writing can be very cathartic as you document your experiences you will learn even more about yourself in the process. Journaling is a safe way for us to express what’s on our minds and helps us get and stay healthy through listening to our inner desires and needs.
6. Create a gratitude jar. In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps us feel more positive emotions and appreciate good experiences, which in turn improves our mindset and our health. Gratitude also boosts our immune system, decreases depression and can help us sleep better at night by focusing on positive thoughts and experiences. Use a mason jar or any other container (or journal) to hold your special messages of gratitude. Write on pieces of paper all the things you are grateful for in this moment and place them in your jar. It can be as simple as the breakfast you made this morning, the person who smiled and held the door open for you at the store, a friend’s phone call, a good idea that spontaneously came to mind, or your dog or cat sitting on your lap. Whatever it is, large or small, there is always something to be grateful for if you stop and pay attention. When you are feeling down or need a little pick me up, reach into your jar and read your gratitude message.
7. Don’t underestimate the power of positivity. Pay attention to your conversations and notice when you or others are focusing on the negative. Stay on course with more positivity by inserting all the good things that are happening into your conversations. Try not to rehash the same statistics and news sound bites. While it’s important to stay informed, focusing all of your attention and conversations on the bad news creates more anxiety, stress and fear in yourself and others. Look for the silver lining in the news. Notice how families and friends are spending more time together either in person or online. There is a collective awakening to how disconnected we’ve become and we are rising to the challenge to work together as we care for our neighbors and our community as a whole. There is a pause in the frenetic pace many of us have become accustomed to living. We are slowing down, having more meaningful conversations and resting. Mother earth is beginning to heal as we see pollution levels decrease. There is less traffic noise and we can hear more birds and nature sounds on our walks.
8. Now is the time to reconnect with family, your community and yourself! Pick up the phone, check in on people, be the light and calm in someone’s life who may be struggling. It will make them and you feel more at ease, loved and cared for. Make a point of checking in regularly with your children. Even the youngest of kids that aren’t able to fully understand what is transpiring in the world, are picking up on our energy and taking cues from us. Fear is a highly contagious emotion. Spend some extra time listening and asking questions of your children so they feel heard and you can ease their anxiety.
9. Try something new and create something new. Developing new thoughts and behaviors creates new results. Keep your energy up; limit toxic habits, people and chronic self-defeating thought patterns with a daily practice of gratitude and positivity.  Day dream more. Fantasize on what you’d like to create for your life in the coming days or months. Take the time to explore your passions and find your deeper purpose. Acknowledge the good and the bad of the day, recognizing that the obstacles you are facing may be guiding you in an even better direction. Now that is something to be grateful for and focus on.
10. Become more vulnerable and ask for help when you need it. We are in the middle of a massive experiment in collective vulnerability. Fear can bring out the worst in us as we grapple with difficult unexpressed emotions. To be brave is to ask for help when we feel overwhelmed and need a helping hand or a shoulder to lean on. Now is the time to be our bravest selves, to admit we don’t have all the answers, some things are out of our control and we need each other.  Let’s try to practice more patience, lend an ear and a helping hand, when possible, for those that need us most.

I hope you will share this article with those you love and care about who may be struggling. To find more articles on meditation, mindfulness, self-empowerment and building resiliency in difficult times, visit www.PeaceandPear.com . May each of us work towards spreading more peace, love and calm.  Stay well.

Peace, love and pear!
Christine Porter

​Have you ever arrived at your destination only to realize you don’t remember the drive? Or what about having that pit in your stomach when you realize you just polished off a whole pizza in a matter of minutes and you weren’t even hungry but very frustrated. Maybe it’s being distracted and anxious with your to-do list spinning through your mind and not being able to focus on a conversation with your partner. What about that meeting where you became so frustrated, you were unable to control your responses.
 
We’ve all been there, and it can be startling when you catch yourself. These are classic examples of being distracted, frustrated, fearful and unaware of what is going on around you and within you in that moment. Our minds take flight, we lose touch with our body and soon we’re engrossed in obsessive thoughts about something that just happened, labelling it as bad or good. We worry about what happened in the past or what might take place in the future. We're caught in a cycle of trying to control a situation.
 
Many of my programs and workshops center around body/mind awareness and creating space so we become less reactive and more active in making conscious choices. This allows us to lead ourselves and others with more insight, compassion and strategy. Practicing mindfulness or as I like to call it, “being present”, is an effective practice once it becomes familiar and routine for you to check in with yourself.
 
The STOP practice is just one of the mindfulness tools I teach that has helped my clients reduce stress, build resiliency in their ever day lives and manage teams more effectively. This is a great technique to practice whenever you’re feeling in distress or anger arising. It creates the space we need to observe and tame our feelings. It also allows the space to access the deeper resource within you, developing the emotional intelligence and psychological resilience and flexibility to help master more challenging moments.
 
S: The “S” literally means to just stop what you’re doing, allow yourself a moment to come to rest, pause and collect yourself.

T: The ‘T” stands for taking a conscious breath. Now that you’ve paused, take a few deep breaths, feeling the expansion of your belly as you breathe deeply. Bring your focus to your breath, even counting as you inhale and exhale can calm the brain and nervous system, allowing you to become more aware of how you are feeling and slow the cortisol flowing in your body. Bring your attention to your feet and feel the support of the ground as you breathe.

O: the “O” stands for observe the thoughts, feelings and physical responses happening in your body. Is your neck tense and your teeth clenched? Bring your awareness to those areas, breathing deeply and see if you can be in the situation without being ruled by it. Offer yourself and others in the room self-compassion. As you begin to feel more calm, open yourself up to the choices you have in terms of how to best move forward from here.

P: The “P” reminds you to proceed being more aware and intentionally setting the next step with strength, wisdom and the art of being present in the moment. Remind yourself you don’t always have to react in the moment and there often is more power in being mindful of all the opportunities to explore new ideas, thoughts and behaviors.
 
To be engaged in difficult conversations and life situations is a part of being human. Releasing the attachment to the outcome, knowing you have a strength to acknowledge and release your reactions, that is the practice of mindfulness in and of itself.

Know someone who could benefit from learning this powerful technique? Pass this article on. Interested in exploring meditation, mindfulness and healthy living programs for your or your staff? Contact me at Christine@PeaceandPear.com or visit www.PeaceandPear.com to learn more.